How I Met Your Mother: "I can't seem to shake this feeling that I've seen you somewhere before"

How I met your mother  

Sometimes, the simplest moments- like watching someone flick their hair, will make the biggest impact on you. Often, when we look for the big things, we miss the small, beautiful, funny, events that show us everything.

Many children like to know how their parents met. So, I'll tell you how I met your mother.

Your mother and I met on an app and clicked straight away - no pun intended. 

After a week or two of talking, I went on a stag do to Cheddar Gorge. This was one of the first times that your mother and I spoke about our shared love for hiking. Cheddar is an amazing place and the walk is beautiful. One day, we will go there, if you want.

On the way home from the stag, I messaged your mother and asked her to meet me for a coffee. She agreed. So, I drove my T4 camper-van called Margaret to meet her. We met in the carpark and as soon as I saw her, she looked at me and said “let’s go then”. She didn’t even say hello. And with that she turned and bolted up the street. I just giggled to myself because I couldn’t work out whether she didn’t like the look of me or whether she was just very nervous. She later said it was because she had anxiety. 

I walked as fast as I could behind her, and we got to the coffee shop. Remember, I had just driven from Cheddar Gorge and was desperate for a pee. So, as soon as we entered the shop, I told her I had to use the toilet and ran to where they were. Because I ran off, your mother thought I didn’t like her and that I had ditched her. Apparently, she sat at the table and considered running. SIt is funny looking back how we both had similar worries - which was crazy considering how close and inseparable we later became. 

I returned from the toilet and ordered her a cup of tea, a coffee for myself, and scones to share. When I sat down, I finally got to look at her properly. She was prettier than I realised. I remember that she looked at me, flicked her hair over her shoulder and continued talking. 

We talked for ages. We talked about anything and everything: jobs, passions, and about your brother. This was when I started to see what a lovely, funny person your mother was and how similar we were in many ways. We decided to move on to the Stag's Head pub and have a chat in the garden. We talked about how we loved playing cards, music, and memories from when we were young. 

After a few hours, she needed to go back to look after your brother. So, we left. This was a really important moment for me because I saw that she would never put someone ahead of her own children. I loved that. 

We then arranged a second date to hike Llyn y Fan in Brecon. This was a lovely hike. We walked and talked half way up and then took a rest by the lake to eat some scones and drink some tea. Then, we ventured further up chatting the whole time. I took a photo of her at the top of the mountain as the wind blew through her hair. Maybe she still has the photograph for you to see. 

After we walked the mountain, we decided to go to Brecon for food. We bought chips, curry sauce and she had a chicken burger. We took the food and ate it in the camper. Your mother took one bite and nearly chocked to death. It was the driest, most awful chicken burger she said she had ever had. Whilst she was coughing and spluttering on its dryness, I sat that crying laughing- there was nothing I could do but offer her water. She was so disappointed in that food. Honestly, it was hilarious, but maybe you just had to be there. 

That moment may seem trivial to most, but it was during that instant I realised that she had the potential to be my partner.

We then drove home and listened to music in the van. The songs that played still remain in my head to this day. Three were:

• Reflekt: Need to Feel Love

• Paolo Nutini: Candy

• Sam Fender - Will we talk?

One buddhist thought is that we meet the same people every time we are reincarnated, we just can’t recognise them. In previous lives, they may have been our cousin, dog, or whatever. I find this comforting because even though I’m no longer with you, your brother or your mother, I have been with you all in a previous life and I will be in a future one. Some of the lyrics in the song below remind me of this idea (be aware, your mother will hate it as its  melodic drum and base):

I said in another article that you should get to know your parents. Let me tell you what I have learnt about your mother:

• She is kind, caring and deeply loving. 
• She is funny, intelligent, caring, and empathic.
• She can be anxious and easily annoyed, but have patience with her, she comes through it. I learnt this too late, like many lessons - hence why I call this blog ‘Opsimath Dad’. 
• Without doubt, she is one of the best mothers put on this planet. The way she has been with your brother really cemented my decision to have you. You are in the best hands possible. 
• She puts her family first. That family is like a tribe. You are in it, and you are safe and loved. 
• She has the biggest heart in the world, but she will put on a mask that makes people think she’s an ice queen. She’s not, she’s the complete opposite. Remember, those who show that they care the least, often care the most. 
• She is hardworking and inspirational. She started with nothing. She was a single mother with no qualifications. Yet, as your brother grew, she went to college and university and became a fantastic nurse. This, to me is proof that it is not how you start, but how you finish. 

So, the things I can teach you from this experience include the above, but also:

1. Don't rush romantic love. It will happen. You have enough love around you to last forever, but one day you may decide to share your life with someone. That person will walk into your life and change it. Your mother said she waited 10 years to meet me.
2. Be kind to people, you don't know what they are going through. They may seem rude, angry, snappy, rushed, but maybe they are feeling anxiety, sadness or something has happened to them. We will talk about this in the future when I try and tell you about things like emotions, bullies, etc.  
3. Be gentle with your mother (and others).
4. This life isn't about how we start: its about how we finish. Handwork will often outweigh talent. We will also discuss this in another post. 
5. It's never too late to learn. Everything that happens is an opportunity to learn. 
6. External beauty fades, but internal beauty will last forever. Find a person whose soul is beautiful. 
7. Sometimes, the simplest moments- like watching someone flick their hair, will make the biggest impact on you. Often, when we look for the big things, we miss the small, beautiful, funny, events that show us everything. It’s a bit like going for an Indian meal- you could focus on the main, but we all know the chutney tray and poppadom are better. Or, it’s like going to the cinema and enjoying the trailers more than the big film. 
8. Laugh. Laugh as often and as loud as you can. Laughter is a medicine, but it is also something that really bonds people. The sound of your mothers and brothers laugh is amazing. I can't wait to hear yours. 
9. Build relationships slowly, but not just through a screen (this, i realise, is an ironic statement). Go out and meet people, talk to people, ask questions, listen and learn from people. 

So, that is how I met your mother and what I thought of her. Regardless of what happens in the future, I will have your back, your mothers back and your brothers back until the day I die. Listen to those songs and see what you think. 

I love you,

Dad